Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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