but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
