I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize