you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
