What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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