I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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