i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Randomize
