A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
