It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
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Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
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I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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