she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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