is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
