by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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