After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
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..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
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I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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