Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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