I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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