Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Couch. On fire.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
