She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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