I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
