wat bout pragnant strippers??
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
