just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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