as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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