Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
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I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
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I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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