belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
