i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize