I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
