dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Michael Bay diarrhea
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
