just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
