Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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