hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
