I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
