If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
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