Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
