I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
