I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
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I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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