Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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