Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I bet he comes in French.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
