Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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