Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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