My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
