I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
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I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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