The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
