I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
