i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
