I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We have started to decorate penises.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize