We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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