They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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