yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
