We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
