she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
