i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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