I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize