Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
