We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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