hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
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you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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