Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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