I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
