What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
