Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
