Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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