you didnt know i had herpes?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
