new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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